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If someone is leading a “double life” it means that in one area of their life they act a certain way and portray a certain image, whereas in another area of their life they act and behave completely differently; hence the term “double life”. Usually the reason that the person needs to portray two different characters is that they have some secret part of their life that they don’t want other people to know about.

As an example, imagine a really nice mother who is a great wife, takes great care of her kids and has a nice job. Everyone thinks she perfect. Secretly however, she dates several men behind her husband’s back and tells no one about it. This woman is leading a double life.

Sometimes teens lead “double lives” because their parents won’t allow them to do certain things that their friends do. They seem like perfect kids in front of their parents, but do all sorts of “bad” things behind their parent’s backs.

Eliot Spitzer is a man who got caught leading a double life. Read about his story here. Eliot Spitzer’s story

Your comments are always appreciated.

Andy

Phrases and idioms

Governor Eliot Spitzer was well known for working to eliminate wall street wrongdoings as well as helping to bust several prostitution rings. He was thought of as an “upstanding member of society” with a high moral code.

Recently he was caught on a federal wiretap where he was arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute (several thousand dollars) in a Washington hotel. He has since confessed his “double life”, publicly apologized to his wife, family, and the general public. Then he stepped down from his position as governor.

Helpful vocab:

Upstanding member of society: An upstanding member of society is a person who has high morals, tries to do what is right, and doesn’t do illegal things.

Wiretap: A wiretap is a way of secretly listening into other people’s phone calls. If you were a suspect of a crime, the police could “tap into” your phone conversations, (ie. listen to them without you knowing) to see if they could get evidence for your crimes.

Double life:  Click here to read my blog about it.

Stepped down: If someone “steps down” from a job or a position, it means they resign (quit). Often people do this to avoid having to get fired or making a big court case out of it.

I’d love to hear your opinions on this situation. Do you think Eliot Spitzer’s wife should divorce him? Do you think he is a terrible person?

Go here to the discussion forum to share your ideas: Eliot Spitzer discussion

Andy

Current Events

Manic depression is a type of mental or psychological disorder. A person with manic depression has very large mood swings. The person is sometimes incredibly happy and confident (the manic state) and other times they are completely depressed and upset. This disease is also called bipolar disorder. (”Bi” means 2 and “pole” means ends). In other words the person’s mood can easily range between the two extremes. People who have this disease often take medicine to help stabilize their mood.

Everyone’s mood changes from time to time but manic depression is a very extreme case. Sometimes you will hear this word used lightly in conversation. You might hear someone describe themselves as being “bipolar” or “manic depressed”. You should note that sometimes people say these terms to exaggerate someone’s behavior even though the person may not actually have this disease.

Your comments are always appreciated.

Andy

Phrases and idioms Psychology

The law of diminishing returns is a classic law of economics. The economics definition might be a little confusing so I’ll do my best in explaining the basic idea of it. Essentially it means that as you continue to add more of the same thing, the added benefit becomes less and less.

Here are a few real life examples which should help to clear up the meaning:

1. Imagine a student who is studying to take an easy test. Let’s assume that he can learn everything in about 10 hours of study. The first 10 hours of studying will have a much greater impact on his test score than his second 10 hours of studying. After a certain point, any extra studying will be a waste of time because he already knows the material.

2. Imagine now that you are going to clean your messy bedroom. The first hour of cleaning will make the most difference, the second hour should make less difference than the first hour, and eventually, if you continue cleaning your room, your extra time spent cleaning won’t make much difference at all because your room will already be clean.

3. How much money someone has works the same way. The first million dollars you earn makes a much bigger difference on the quality of your life than the second million dollars. After a certain point, extra money doesn’t make any difference in your lifestyle at all. In terms of lifestyle, there is not much difference between 30 billion and 60 billion dollars.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Andy

Business English

Here is an important term that you will often hear used in business, economics, and the news.

Everyone knows what the “cost” of something is. If I told you that going to a certain university as a full-time student for 4 years cost $10,000 per year, you would know that the total cost of the 4-year program is $40,000.

The opportunity cost is different. The opportunity cost also includes what else you are “giving up” by making that decision. The opportunity cost can be applied when you are making a decision between doing two or more things.

In our simple example, let’s say that you are considering doing one of two things:
a:)go to school for 4 years or
b:)not go to school and working instead.

Let’s assume that if you didn’t go to school you would be able to earn $30 000 per year during that time. That would be $120,000 that you wouldn’t have if you had instead chose to go to school. In this case we say that the opportunity cost of going to school is the $40,000 of tuition + the $120,000 that you would have earned if you chose to work instead. Therefore the opportunity cost of going to school would be $160,000. That sounds quite expensive. We could even complicate this further by including the money that you would have earned on investments during the time you were working.

Basically, the point of the opportunity cost is to help you evaluate the “real” costs of choosing one option instead of another.
It doesn’t only have to be about money either. For example, imagine that you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend) and you are deciding whether or not you will move to another country without her. You have decided that if you do move, you will break-up. That means that your girlfriend is an opportunity cost of moving because you will be losing her if you go away.

I hope this explanation was clear and you will be able to use this term confidently. Let me know if you have any questions.

Andy

Business English

This saying is a great one to use when you have the right opportunity. It basically means that the secret is out in the open and is no longer a secret.

Imagine this situation:

You plan to quit your job but you don’t want to tell too many people until after you actually quit. You decided to tell only one friend but don’t want to tell any other people. Now you are together with many friends, including the one you told. By accident, the friend you told you are going to quit your job asked you in front of everyone, “so when exactly are you going to quit”? Everyone hears this question and says, “What? I didn’t know you were planning on quitting”.

Then you could say, “Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag”. It means that the secret is out in the open now and I’m not going to hide from the truth anymore.

Andy

Learning and Improving English Phrases and idioms

I’ll be honest. I don’t like mornings. A “morning person” is someone who easily wakes up early and feels their best in the morning. Unfortunately I’m not one of these people. I usually don’t start feeling my best until late in the afternoon. I’m often tired and stupid in the mornings. In the morning I can easily waste a couple of hours in front of the computer without really getting much work done. I almost feel like I don’t remember who I am and what I want to do in life. It usually takes me several hours to get back to the good state of mind I was in the night before. What a waste of time.

I started to wonder why that is. I often hear that some people are naturally “morning people” while others aren’t. I really don’t like that simple explanation and I have set out to become more of a morning person.

I realized that in order to feel my best, I need to have done certain things that day. If I just crawl out of bed and sit in front of the computer, I’ll feel sluggish (tired) and lazy.

I made a small full-body exercise routine that I do as soon as I get up. After that I take 10 full deep breaths, then I do some stretching. That all takes me about 15 minutes. The purpose of that is to get my blood flowing and give me the feeling that I can move my body easily. This also releases hormones that fight fatigue and make my body feel awake.

After I do that, I jump in the shower, get dressed, and then make a healthy breakfast and one cup of coffee. By this time I’m feeling pretty good physically but I still have some more work to do until I’m feeling at my best.

At this point I read a few affirmations to myself that I think will help put me in a good frame of mind. An affirmation is a statement that you want to believe is true. Here are three example affirmations:

“Today is going to be a great day.”

“I am going to eat only healthy food today and feel great about it”.

“I’m going to be relaxed today and not let little things stress me out”.

You can make any affirmations that you think are appropriate for your own life. I think they are useful to remind me how I want to live. If I read these in the morning, I find I am much more likely to follow them.

Then I ask myself some questions that help me plan my day.

I ask myself some questions like:

“What do I want to do today for work?” “What do I want to learn about today?” and “What am I going to do for fun today?”

After I ask these questions I’m feeling great and ready to get on with my day. The whole morning routine takes me about an hour but I think it is definitely worth it. I suggest making your own morning routine or improving the one you already have. I’d love to hear about what works for you. Maybe I can learn from you and improve my routine.

Andy

Self Improvement

Add and I got back last week from an amazing vacation in Thailand. We stayed on the Island of Koh Chang, the second largest island in Thailand. We stayed near “White Sands beach” and each rented bungalows for about 15 US dollars per night. These bungalows are small houses with a bedroom, a bathroom, fridge, hot water, and air conditioning. They also have cheaper bungalows, but those have cold water showers and no air conditioning. I’m a baby when it comes to cold water so I had no choice.

The weather was great and we pretty much just swam, hung out on the beach, read books, ate great food, exercised, and partied. I hadn’t been out of the city for an entire year which made this trip so great. I loved the warm weather, fresh air, and relaxed attitude of the people. I realized that I can quite easily enjoy a simple life. I love being outside on a sunny day with some good friends and then watching the sunset go down over the ocean. I don’t really need or want many material things. Good weather, good friends, good books, and a place to exercise is enough for me.

I also realized that I’ve never regretted taking a vacation. I always come back feeling better than when I left. It puts me in a great mood and gives me a new perspective on life. I think when you take a vacation like that, you not only take a vacation from your work, but you take a vacation from all your worries and stresses. Being in a new place and around new people make you forget about your old life and any problems or worries you have. That’s a great feeling. The new environment also causes you to think about new things or think about things in a different way. I read that 90% of someone’s thoughts on one day are the same as they were the previous day. I’m not sure how accurate that number is but if it is even close to true it seems ridiculous. I think that was my favorite aspect of the trip; thinking about new things. I feel a bit different now, a bit better.

I met an interesting guy from England when I was there. He had just sold his house in London in the past six months and moved to Thailand. All his friends in England thought he was crazy for doing it but he says it was the best decision he’s ever made. He’s now out of the stresses of city life and he’s enjoying every breath of fresh air. He said he realized that he’d always liked the beach, so he just made the obvious decision to move to there. He knows what he likes and he’s doing it. I don’t think that’s true of most people. I think that most people are too caught up in what society tells them they should do. Most people wouldn’t have the courage to make that kind of decision, even if they knew it was what they wanted to do. Of course it takes money to make that decision, but courage and confidence in your own ideas are probably even more important.

Andy

I’ve talked to so many people recently who are unhappy with their situation in life. The problem is that most of these people feel as though they have no other options. They make excuses for why their life is the way it is and just keep on being unhappy with it. When I ask them what they plan to do to change their situation in life, they have very few answers.

I think a huge problem for most people is that they don’t even consider most of the opportunities available to them. They seem to only consider the opportunities that seem the easiest, or the most obvious.

In reality you could do almost anything. You could move to another city or country. You could go back to school. You could look for another job. You could go on a holiday and take time to think. You could get a gym membership and get in the best shape of your life. You could take some interesting class after work. You could start hanging out at different places and try to make new kinds of friends. You could do any or all of those things.

If you are a negative person, you could probably read each of those possibilities I gave you above and tell me some reason why it would be really difficult for you to do it. The point is that if you really wanted to do any of those things you could probably make it happen.

The reason people get caught so easily in bad and boring situations is that they are afraid of the unknown. They are afraid of change. I know what that feels like. Although boring, it’s much easier to keep living the same way you always have and to keep doing the same things you’ve always done. Even though you know it would be exciting, making a big change is scary because you don’t know exactly what will happen. I know; I moved across the world. Unfortunately, if you keep living the same way you will keep getting the same results. Your life won’t change at all unless you do. Only fools would rely on luck.

Even if you are pretty happy with your life, I’m sure that there is at least one area that you would like to improve. For me, I’d like to start meeting new kinds of people. I’ve noticed that I’ve been going to the same bars and hanging out with the same people for the last 6 months or so. I’m in a “comfort zone”. I realize that I need to start doing some new things this year in order to make some new kinds of friends. My problem lately has been that I haven’t even been paying any attention to what kinds of new things I could be doing. Even though I live in a huge city with so many things to do, only a few ideas come into my mind for what I could do. I need to change this.

If you want to change jobs, don’t waste time complaining about it! Start looking for a new job. If you have been looking lately but haven’t found anything, start looking for new ways to find a job. Look for new job websites. Don’t be afraid to contact different people to get their advice on what you should do.

Whatever it is you want to change or improve, start it right now. Don’t live tomorrow the same way you lived today unless you want to be in the exact same position tomorrow as you are now. Also remember, don’t just try something. Try something different that you have never tried before. If that doesn’t work, try something else.

I’d love for you to share your experiences!

Andy.

Self Improvement

I noticed the other day that my mood and the emotions I feel at any time, are very often unrelated to the present situation that I am actually experiencing. For example, if I hear my alarm clock go off in the morning and I know that I have to wake up to do something I don’t want to do, I’ll feel pretty annoyed and I won’t be in a great mood. On the other hand, if I hear my alarm clock go off in the morning and I realize that I have to wake up to get ready to catch an airplane to go on a fun vacation, I’ll be in a great mood.

I find it interesting that my mood can be so different even when what I am doing is exactly the same. For example, getting ready to do something I don’t want to do is the same as getting ready to do something I would love to do. I have to wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, put my clothes on, etc. (I actually put my clothes on before eating breakfast!)

If you are unhappy with your job or another part of your life, it is easy to allow that unhappiness to affect other areas of your life. For example, if someone doesn’t like their job, they are not only unhappy during the 8 hours at work. They often are also unhappy when they wake up because they are thinking about how bad the day is going to be, they are unhappy while driving to work because they are thinking of how boring their job is, they are unhappy after work because they think about how boring the next day will be.

What you think about is so unbelievably important for feeling good (or feeling bad). What you think about determines your emotional state much more than what you are doing does. You could be at work doing a really boring job, but have a big smile on your face because you are thinking of a joke that your friend told you. You could also be at a really fun party with your best friends, and be feeling bad because you are thinking about how you are still angry with your boyfriend or girlfriend for something they did a week before.

Try not to allow yourself to feel bad for no good reason. If you are feeling bad, just realize that it’s most likely because of what you are thinking about, not what is actually happening at that moment. What you are actually doing at that moment probably isn’t really that bad. Try to think of things that you like to think about instead of thinking about what you hate. If you don’t like your job, think of a good plan about how you can get a new job, or how you can make your current job better. If you can’t think of something to make your situation better, then think about something else that you enjoy. Don’t just waste your time thinking about how bad something is. That’s ridiculous!

I always look forward to your comments!

Andrew

Self Improvement